The Tooth Fairy has some kind of racket going on these days.
An annual survey done by Visa tells us that the sprite with the tooth fetish is paying nearly $4 a tooth these days.
You want to know what is wrong with America? THAT is.
Not Miley Cyrus. Not gay folks getting married.
Paying your kids for doing nothing other than growing is just another symptom of a culture that produces schoolchildren who lack the basic academic knowledge their peers elsewhere in the world boast, but who carry sky-high self-esteem that makes them oblivious to their own cluelessness.
So please keep my kid in the dark about this Tooth Fairy business. She is deliriously happy with the $1 bill she's been getting.
I don't think my refusal to pony up the price of a pumpkin spice latte for a baby tooth makes me cheap.
I just think you ought actually work for things.
My 7-year-old has been getting a $5 a week allowance for the last year. IF, that is, she completes all of her chores each day.
These include, but are not limited to, making her bed, feeding her fish, Crystal, dumping the playground sand out of her shoes after school in an appropriate trash container, hanging up her towel after shower, and hugging mom, dad and her little sister.
And other duties as assigned.
I'm trying to teach her that work equals getting paid. So now if she wants a trinket from Claire's, she must dip into her own piggybank to cover the cost of another pair of BFF necklaces.
I got basic lessons in budgeting from my parents: starting a savings account; balancing a checkbook, the miracle of compound interest.
Finally, it would seem, Florida schoolchildren will be as lucky as I was back in the 1980s.
Part of Senate Bill 1076 is a caveat that requires students entering the ninth grade to take a half-credit in economics, to include financial literacy.
If you think kids are the only ones who need those classes, think again my friend.
Pensacola Mayor Ashton Hayward kicked off a series of financial literacy workshops under the brand Common $ense Pensacola. The program is administered under the auspices of United Way of Escambia County.
Friendship Missionary Baptist Church is hosting the first set of classes, which aim to close the gap in money management education that can be a path to standing on firm financial ground.
Breaking the circle that keeps this area ranked as the poorest metropolitan area in the state means undertaking efforts like each of these.
It also means not paying kids $4 every time a tooth falls out of their heads.
Keep that up and you'll have a generation of kids who were born on third base thinking that they hit a triple.