I am not full-time stay-at-home mom material.
I love my sweet angel babies and if there is an upside of being laid off from my job newspapering, it has been that I have gotten to spend more time with my girls.
But I couldn't do it like this all day, every day.
I have spent too many years as a working mom to give it up entirely. My mind races to other things while I play tea party. I have constructed all the Lego doghouses and beds I can bear. We have run through our stash of arts and crafts projects that came along with the oldest's birthday party last month.
I am all out of ways to say that baseball is not a game we play inside the house.
The good news for all of us is that I have a solid job prospect on the horizon. Best of all it is one that will allow me to balance work life and family life, I hope, more effectively than writing a five-times-a-week column did.
We should have all of the details worked out early this week, which is nice. Because there are things I have loved about being with my girls. I am there to do homework after school and play school with the youngest, who is always ordering me to lie down for nap time.
I am there to hear about the oldest's first day of her gifted student class and going to soccer practice is not a mad-dash of child-care switcheroo and hunting around for cleats at the last minute.
Those are the good things and I am not missing them any more.
But is it OK if I just say out loud that I miss working, too?
When I was working full-time, all I wanted was more time with my family. Now that I am unemployed, I find I need the intellectual stimulation of my workplace to keep me from becoming too enmeshed in refereeing every little dispute about who has which Barbie and who threw the couch cushions onto the floor first.
I have also learned that Dora needs to modulate the tone of her voice, and that Austin really does like Ally. And how did the family in Good Luck Charlie afford that big house on the dad's exterminator's salary? He must be the only bug killer in town.
And that town must have a serious pest problem.